James 1:19-20, 26,
3:8-10
“A Slip of the Tongue”
Today, we continue our series of sermons on
the Epistle of James. As we noted
last week, James is a very practical book on Christianity. It is not abstract or lofty
theology. It’s “Where the Rubber
Hits the Road” when it comes to Christian living. James has watched how life works. He has seen the things that we wrestle
with as human beings and he is trying to teach us what the Christian life really
looks like.
And today, James recognizes that one of the issues that we all wrestle
with is controlling our tongue. We
all have a tendency to say things we shouldn’t say. We fail to say things we should
say. We hurt others with our words
or we can bless others with our words.
The tongue has great potential!
But it has been said that “The
tongue is a concealed weapon that every human being carries with them 24 hours a
day.” With it we can use it as
a dagger to hurt someone or we can use it for blessing and
healing.
As a pastor, I always try to be careful about what I say, especially on
Sunday mornings. I try to choose my
words carefully, so I don’t say the wrong thing. Especially, since I have this microphone
hooked to me all morning. There
have been times when I have forgotten to turn it off after a service and as I’m
greeting people after the service … someone will come up to me and say, “Your
microphone is still on.” And
immediately, I’m thinking, “O my gosh, I
hope I didn’t say anything that I’d be embarrassed of.” When I go to the bathroom, I’m always
checking this thing just to make sure.
I am
reminded of last year when President Bush was in
So, for
millions of Americans, they could hear President Bush in the background, but
they could also hear Kara Phillips in the foreground. It wasn’t the sound of water swooshing
or zippers going up and down that were most disconcerting. It was the conversation she had with her
friend. Maybe you heard about this,
but part way through that conversation she began to talk about her sister-in-law
in the most unflattering of ways for millions of Americans to hear. Finally, someone from CNN rushed into
the bathroom and told her to turn her microphone off, but the damage was already
done.
I want
to ask you this question: If you had a microphone hooked up to you every day,
when you were at work or at play, would you be comfortable having everything you
say broadcast across the world for millions of people to hear? I’m guessing that for all of us in this
room, the answer to that question is “no”.
We wouldn’t be proud of everything that we say. There are times when things slip out or
we have conversations about other people and we would never want those people to
hear what we say. Sometimes we
don’t even know why we say the things we do and we feel guilty about it. This is part of the struggle we have as
human beings. We wrestle with our
tongues.
One
commentator on this passage of scripture said, “The tongue is like the sidewalk around the
swimming pool, where they have signs saying, ‘Slippery when wet.’” The problem is, that our tongues are wet
24 hours a day. It’s dangerous all
the time.
And
today, I want this sermon to become as personal as it can for each of us. And so, I want to invite you to take out
a pen and to write there on your Sermon Notes, “How you personally struggle with your
tongue. How do you misuse the words
that you say or misuse your tongue?” I want to invite you to write down 2 or 3
things that you can think of.
As we look at James’ Epistle, let’s see if James addresses any of your
struggles. In your Sermon Notes,
there is a list of the struggles that James addresses. He calls us to resist “Words spoken in
anger”. He warns us to be careful
about the words we use when we are “teaching”, because in this role we have
great influence. He commands us to
avoid “boasting”, because when we boast about ourselves, it is coming from
arrogance in the heart or perhaps envy.
He tells us to avoid being “dishonest” … to tell the truth and not to
deceive other people, by carefully crafting our words. He says, “Let our ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and our ‘no’ be
‘no’.”
But
James was primarily concerned about when we use our tongues to speak ill of
other people or hurt them with our words.
In James 3:8-10 we read these words:
“No one can tame the tongue--a restless evil, full of
deadly poison. With it we bless the
Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of
God. From the same mouth come
blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be
so.”
Now, more than any of the other
Epistles in the New Testament, James draws from the teachings of Jesus. Throughout his Epistle, you will hear
themes from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount repeated. You hear this in James 4:11-12, where he
says: “Do not speak evil against one
another, brothers and sisters. Whoever speaks evil against another or judges
another, speaks evil against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the
law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one lawgiver and judge who is
able to save and to destroy. So who, then, are you to judge your
neighbor?”
Here, we hear echoes of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7, where
Jesus
says: "Do not judge, so that you may not be
judged. For with the judgment you
make you will be judged.” And
then, he says, “Why do you see the speck
in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?”
Here, James is warning us about speaking ill of others or judging other
people, when we’ve got our own issues that we need to wrestle with.
There are many other ways that we can think of ,where we use our tongues
to hurt instead of to heal … to curse instead of to bless. But why is it that we do this? Even those of us who have been
Christians for a long time, we struggle with this … why? Well,
the Bible teaches us that our human condition is, that we are born with a bent
toward sin. There is something that
is broken and not right within us.
And one indication that there is something wrong on the inside, is the
way that we use our tongues. The
Bible teaches us that we are all in need of restoration. This is why Jesus came and died on the
Cross, to restore and redeem us.
But when it comes to the restoration of our tongues, that is something
that begins on the inside, because the heart is where the tongue speaks
from.
Listen to what Jesus says about this in Matthew 12. Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees and
he says: “Either make the tree good, and
its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for the tree is known
by its fruit.” In other words,
he is saying, “You claim to be good, but the fruit that you are producing
doesn’t line up with who you claim to be.”
Then he says, “You brood of
vipers! How can you speak good things, when you are evil? For out of the
abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Our words are a reflection of what is in
our hearts. If we’re cussing,
saying hurtful things, speaking out of envy or jealously … that all comes from
the heart. “The good person brings good things out of a
good treasure, and the evil person brings evil things out of an evil
treasure. I tell you, on the day of
judgment you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter; for
by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be
condemned.”
That last line is a terrifying line. It should at least cause us to pause and
ask the question, “Wait a minute, how
does this really work?” Our
salvation comes from God’s grace and our trusting in God. But I have this picture of standing
before God on Judgment Day and God saying, “I’d like to play for you some tapes from
things you said during your life.” And God has this long reel of video of
every time we spoke carelessly about other people. And as we listen to this video, we hear
our voice, but what we see, are the faces of the persons that we hurt by what we
said. And finally, God says, “Do you get it now? Do you understand the power of your
tongue and the effect that it had on other people?”
Now, I think that the Scriptures indicate that we don’t have to
experience that at the Last Judgment, if we “get it” here in this life. If we understand this and invite God’s
Holy Spirit to transform our hearts and thus our lips. If God sees that transformation taking
place in our lives, where we begin to use our tongues to offer blessing, instead
of pain. If we get it here, I don’t
think we will have to go through that judgment. And I’ll tell you, I would rather learn
that lesson here, than have to learn it face to face with
God.
Again, this points to the fact that our hearts need to be transformed in
order that our lips will be transformed.
So, we invite God to “Take our
lives and let it be consecrated unto Thee.” We invite God to come into our lives and
work within our hearts, so that our hearts will be transformed. We ask for God to take away the envy,
jealousy, hate, and evil thoughts, so that we can live and speak words that are
pleasing to God and a blessing to others.
This happens in the heart and it is what God does within
us.
But there are times that we say things that are not really what is going
on in our hearts … they just slip out.
These are things are not necessarily what we truly feel. I can’t see in the hearts of other
people, but I know that there are times when I say things that I don’t really
feel in my heart, but for some reason, they just slip out.
For me, this happens sometimes when I’m angry. When Marie and I are in a conflict with
each other, something will be said in the middle of that, and later, I will
realize that’s not how I really feel and I have to apologize for that. “I don’t know why I said that, but it’s not
what I really feel in my heart.”
This happens when we’re children and dealing with our parents. Our parents will lay down the law to us
or refuse to let us do what we want to do, and we will say things like, “I hate you! You’re the meanest Mom in the
world!” But that’s not really
true. We just failed to control our
tongues and we were lashing out in anger.
And this is why I think that James links controlling our tongues with
controlling our anger. The Bible
says that it is okay to be angry, but it says, “Be angry, yet sin not.” And part of the way that we control our
anger and “sin not” is not to say
things or do things that will hurt other people.
This is something that we all struggle with. And so, James gives us some practical
wisdom for how to tame our tongues in this area. And one of the things that he tells us
is that we have to be aware of the dangers. And James tries to teach us this by
using all kinds of metaphors. He
says, “The tongue is like a powerful
poison” …so know how dangerous it can be. He says, “The tongue is like a spark in a forest and
it launches a forest fire that destroys everything.” He says, “The tongue is like a rudder on a ship and
if you turn it the wrong direction, the whole ship will be
lost.”
So the first thing that James wants us to be aware of, is that there is
power in the tongue. The second
thing, is to invite God to transform our hearts and to change us from the inside
out. And this is a life-long
process of Sanctification.
But the third thing that James tells us to do, is to put a bridle on our
tongues. I think we have all seen
how a bridle fits on a horse. (Picture of
Bridle on a horse) And it is amazing how you can control an animal as large
as a horse with one of these things.
You do so, by pulling on the reigns … which are attached to the bridle …
which is attached to the bit … which is in the mouth.
And this is how James says that we need to control our tongues. We need to “tame” or “bridle” our
tongues. He says that if we are
going to control our tongues, it will be because we put on “a bridle and a bit”
and we hold on tight, so that we won’t say things that we have no business
saying. And this requires
effort. It requires thinking about
what we’re about to say. Sometimes,
it requires pausing before you speak.
In an
article published by Forbes Magazine last year, there was an interview with Jane
Goodall, who is an expert working with chimpanzees. During her interview, she began to talk
about Lewis Leakey, who she worked with for many years. And she said: “I remember that Leakey was very
impulsive. He got a letter in the
mail and opened it, and it would be perhaps something from a scientist that he
thought was quite ridiculous. And
you could hear him muttering, ‘Bash!
Rubbish!’ The poor bit of
paper would be scored with his marks and he would turn to me and say, ‘Get so
and so on the phone!” She said, “I
finally got wise to his moods, so I would pretend that the number was busy or
the man wasn’t there. And then, an
hour or two later, he’d be rational again and I could place the phone
call.”
She had
wisdom there. This man was going to
say things he shouldn’t say if she put him in contact with people at that
moment. So you see, she acted as
his “bridle”. Most of us don’t have
someone else who acts as our bridle … we’ve got to learn how do to this
ourselves.
Our
challenge today, is not so much when we get a letter in the mail and want to
call them on the telephone. It is
“instant communication” that is the problem today. It is often an email that comes to
us. We open that email and
immediately our passions are inflamed, and so we hit the “reply” button and type
out what we feel like saying at that moment. And then, we hit the “send” button and
we create a mess.
Part of
wisdom is saying, “Maybe my best answer
is not the one I give when I first hit the reply button.” And so, what many of us have learned to
do, is to hit the “save” button after we’ve typed what we want to say at that
moment. After venting and typing
your reply out, you hit the “save” button, not the “send” button. And then, you go back later and look at
it again. And when we do, we often
end up saying, “I don’t want to send
that. That comes across harsher
than I really want to say it. And
it would really be bad if I sent that.” So, you take those parts out and you
save it again. And then you go back
to it on the 3rd day.
And often, when I come back to it on the 3rd day, I’ll say, “I don’t want to send that.” So, in response to some nasty email I
may receive, I often end up replying by saying, “Thank you so much for sharing your comments
with me. Have a great day. Pastor Ricky
Willis.”
And I
feel better about. I got it out of
my system. That’s not how it always
works out. But when I do that, I’m
not acting out of the emotions or the anger of the moment, and I’m being more
careful about what I say. Because
the tongue has power! It is like a
poison … it is like fire … or a rudder that can derail the ship. So, exercise patience before you
respond.
This is
how James puts it in 1:19. I invite
us to say it together: “You must
understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak,
slow to anger.” What wisdom
there are in these words.
We’ve
all heard it said before, that God gave us two ears and one mouth and he
expected us to use them in that proportion. We are to listen twice as much as we
speak. And one of the major problems we have in our culture is that we behave
just the opposite. Much of the
conflict in our lives doesn’t get resolved, because everybody is talking, trying
to get their point across and no one is listening. It is important that we are “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to
anger.” When we don’t do this,
we ultimately end up regretting what comes out.
Last
week, we talked about the trials and temptations that we all struggle with in
life. We learned that there are
trials and temptations all around us and we fall into them every day. And we learned that the trials and
temptations of life are all “tests”.
Every day there are tests.
It’s not that God sends these things to test us. It’s just that life is a test.
And
when it comes to our words, there is no test that is more evident of what is
going on inside of us. Every
conversation and every word that comes forth is “a test”. And sometimes we are going to fail
the tests. And when we fail the
test, we are supposed to say, “I failed
that test. So, I obviously need to
work at that better. And I need to
ask my teacher for forgiveness.”
And we start over again.
This is how it works in real life.
Now,
before we wrap this up, there are several important words in our conversations
with others that we need to keep in mind.
One of those things that we need to be ready to say on a regular basis
is, “I’m sorry.” Not only to God, but to others. This is so important. I regularly tell couples who are
preparing to get married that these are the two most important words you will
ever have when it comes to marriage.
For even though you may not intend it, you will hurt one another. And the only path for reconciliation and
restoration to take place, is for one of you to say, “I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry” needs to flow from our lips,
for those are healing words.
But
equally important, is that we freely say, “I forgive you.” People are going to say things that are
going to hurt you. People are going
to gossip about you and it’s going to get back to you and that is going to
hurt. All of us either have or will
have this happen to us. There are
some of us here today, who haven’t spoken in years to someone who used to be our
best friend, because they said something about you and it got back to you and it
hurt you. Some of you haven’t
talked to a parent or a child in a long time, because of something hurtful that
was said.
Here is
what I try to remember when I hear about something somebody has said about me or
receive something from somebody that hurts me. I think about how I have been guilty of
doing the same thing. Maybe not
exactly the same things. But how
often have I spoken a careless word or I said something to somebody that I
didn’t really mean or I should not have said. If I can remember how many times I blew
it, it helps me to let go of my anger toward someone who has hurt me. I know that I have done the same thing
before and I am need of forgiveness too.
And on
this subject, I want to remind you that it is important to say things while you
can. We need to regularly think
about who are the people are that we need to forgive and who the people are that
we need to make amends with.
Because none of us want to come to the end of our lives regretting that
we never offered those words of healing to someone who needed
them.
My
point is this, today is the hour for you to make amends. Today is the hour we need to decide to
use our tongues to bless and not to hurt other people. Today is the time that you need to
decide to forgive somebody else.
Don’t wait until enough time has passed that you think you have punished
them enough by being silent to them.
Don’t wait until that opportunity passes you by. Now is the time.
And
remember, the positive side of this message from James is that our tongues can
be used for wonderful blessings!
Our tongue is one of the greatest instruments we have for living out our
faith.
The
Book of Proverbs has a wonderful passage in chapter 31:8-9. It says, “Speak out for those who cannot speak, for
the rights of all the destitute.
Speak out, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and
needy.” Paul says in Ephesians
4:29, “Let no evil talk come out of your
mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your
words may give grace to those who hear.”
What a
wonderful challenge for us as we prepare to leave today. Let’s go out and live our lives in such
a way, that our words don’t curse or tear others down, but that we will only
speak words that will build up and give grace to all who we
meet.
This is
part of what I heard in this closing story. It was a speech that Congressman Elijah
Cummings gave at
His
name was Hollis Posey. And in his
speech, Congressman Cummings said, “I
think back to that time and I do something I have done every morning of my
life. I thank God for the wonderful
adults who gave me my head start in life.
I thank God for Mr. Hollis Posey, the one sixth grade teacher who
listened to my dreams, who believed in my potential as a human being, and who
talked to my strengths, not my limitations. And I thank God for my parents, who
convinced me that I could become whatever I decided to
be.
I made it out of
the special education group. I
graduated second in my class in
I survived and
succeeded because of positive parental involvement and because of Mr. Hollis
Posey, who believed in me, who taught to my strengths, and who encouraged me
with his lips.”
So, our
tongues are either a concealed weapon that brings pain or an instrument of
blessing. Which will your lips
be?